FAR AWAY...

Hi, friends.
Today I'm feeling so sad because I had to do something that I really didn't want to...but seems to be necessary...dating online is exciting but also frustrating and sometimes so stressful...you are always learning about people and you feel so disappointed when you find out that people are soooo different from you...they think different, they act different and they lie so naturally, too. I need to find my soulmate "soon" or I'll became and online dating specialist and I don't wanna that!
O.k, one more experience to share...Well, this time the guy was really interesting and I was "falling" for him...and after him, I decided to not "dating online" with anybody that lives more than 100 miles away from me.
I"m gonna call him K.G. he sent me an email message inside the dating site, about 4 months ago before we started chatting:
04.06.09
"Hello...U have an amazing profile, and wonderful pics!
Thnx so much for sharing yourself! I know we have a huge distance, so i wish u all the best in you're search, and you're future, but should you ever wanna chat, please look me up!"K.G.
O.K., I looked at his profile and the first pic was a terrible one and his profile, so poor of information, so didn't reply...exactly 41 days ago, he sent me a flirt message:"you are breathtaking"...than I looked again at his profile and first pic...terrible, second pic...you can't see the guy really well...third pic...WOW! I liked that one, so I replied sending a flirt message: "Hello"...
Well, we started chatting and after some days we went to Yahoo IM where he shared more pics and I really, really liked what I saw!Wow! He was breathtaking after all. I like him...he was so affeccionate and enjoy the little things we use to miss in relationships, as sending ecards, offline msgs, emails, etc...then we started text messaging all day long and I loved that...such a new experience for me, until we found we had a lot of issues most because I'm a Christian and really mean that and I didn't feel so good anymore, too much things to arguing all the time...
I really like him, but today I decided ended up with this crazy relationship...we never met each other in person but we were acting like we already know each other for a long time...I live in FL and he live in PA...and let me tell you something...think a lot before you go into a long distance relationship, because is not easy to handle that, I just couldn't anymore, because I was taking the relationship as serious and my thoughts were...what I'm gonna do now?
I remove my profile and pics from the dating site and stopped the automatic renew, I was pretty serious how I was feeling about him and he did the same...for a week, only. Today I saw he was back to the dating site and that was the reason that makes me took the decision to finish with everything...it hurts so much...and more than that my Sprint bill...I didn't know I don't have an unlimited text msg plan...wow!
For now, I'll be only at a Christian dating site, but I know is not gonna be easy find somebody that makes me "shaking" inside like my K.G.
God Bless You!!

LONELY...

Today I was feeling so lonely, without the "one" to share "me" with...It's not easy after 20 years of marriage and now divorced, find a "true love", somebody that you can feel a romantic connection with...you become more exigent in certain aspects because you know that a relationship is not only about "love", "external appearance" or "sex", must have "commitment", "complicity" and "friendship" to lasts "forever"(or maybe for a long term relationship). You may have clear in your mind what you really expect from a partner, that's a crucial point or you gonna find yourself lost in the middle of thousands of profiles.
I think dating online is a great opportunity to know people from "inside" to "outside". Of course the pics on profile are the first thing that will gonna caught your attention, but when you start chatting with somebody it's not only appearance what really matters anymore, you gonna know the other from "inside". Most people feel more comfortable talking about themselves without a visual contact, it's easier tell the other how you are in a deeply way...how you feel and then when the connection happens go to the next step...web cam, phone calls and know each other in person. The important thing in a online dating is have no rushing, no instant relationships so you wouldn't get hurt so easily...
I used to have a problem with guys that contact me...50% don't read my profile and I know that because I'm so specific about some details like: only Christians - do you know what ? A bunch of Agnostics, Jewish, Atheists, Muslims...
- No Hunters - ...I love fishing, hiking, HUNTING...
Not easy, right?
I had an experience that I consider important to me and I would like to share with you...
A Guy...C.B. contact me from an unusual way, no flirt message, but an email and he wrote only in SUBJECT : I like the honest in your profile...I immediately replied to him and he told me that he first read my profile then he took a look at my pics...That is so RARE and I really liked the way we started chatting. He stopped visiting the site ( I checked that!)and looking at my pics. And he only had two pics in his profile( not good ones...). He told me he want to know me "inside". We had a wonderful time together, we used to hear music while chatting, dancing in our imagination and for several times he told me: " You know me better than anyone else in this world..." and I truly believe in him, because I feel the same here...he knows "me" by inside. If you ask to my "ex" today about anything like: what's her favorite color? what's her favorite food? what's her goals ...bla, bla, bla...my "ex": ????????????? My friend: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMUNICATION is the Big key for any kind of relationship...so be honest when you are talking about you...don't lie, don't hide yourself...you are the other half of somebody out there...and he/she is looking for exactly what YOU ARE.
You may asking right know...what about the guy...C.B.? Well, he is out there still looking for his half, just like me...
God Bless You!!

PICS

If you still didn't find your true love and already is feeling tired about looking and searching for it on a dating site, remember that: where else you gonna have fun like that?
Since I'm a woman I'm gonna talk about my experience about searching for the right guy...That's incredible...when you click in somebody's profile first thing you noticed is the number of pics that "he" has in his profile and sometimes you feel so happy..."wow...this one has 15 pics"!But then, when you start clicking...only the Mercy of God...oh boy...
#1- The first one was taken 10 years ago in a kitchen tagged:"Me in the kitchen".
#2-The second one was taken about 6 years ago and the guy is 600ft of distance in a middle of nowhere, tagged: "Me in my backyard".
#3- His dog...
#4- His dog as a puppy?
#5- A beautiful beach (without him),tagged: "The beach".
#6- A wonderful sunset ,tagged:"Sunset".
#7- Another sunset?... tagged: "I love sunsets".
#8- My kids (without him...).
#9- My oldest kid...
#10- My youngest kid...
#11- Wow! He is jumping from a parachute, but you can not see him really well...
#12- A beautiful view from his porch...(without him).
#13- A pic from his truck(without him), tagged: "I love my truck!".
#14- Guess what...he has a boat, tagged: "my new toy".
#15- I'm gonna let you use your imagination for this one, so you still can have a happy journey in your searching, o.k.?
So...let's keep in mind that pics are the first impression people is gonna have about you! It's so important you have in your profile some good and actual pics and please...you can buy a digital cam for kids at a store for $15.00 if you can not buy a good one.
DON'T GIVE UP!!
God Bless You.

EXPECTATIONS

My dear friends...it's really good when you start a new (online) conversation with somebody you think could be "The One"...
* First, he/she contacts you sending a "Flirt message" or a "Wink".
*Then...short email messages like:
-HI...I like your profile.
-Hello...how was your day?
-I'm really interested in you and would love to get to know you better.
*Next...start exchanging emails for a while.
*Finally...want chat on IM? Then he/she is gonna ask if you have Yahoo or MSN IM,because chatting inside the site it's not so good...too much "traffic"...
***Those steps above can happen in a few minutes or in a couple of hours or take some days.
*Next Step: you start chatting every day with the same person until he/she ask you to remove your pics and profile from the site, because is better when you get focused in one person at at time (I agree...no problem). You two really have a great connection! And for weeks things is doing better and better between you and your new "match"...you both create a relationship. You use to spend hours talking by cell phone,you use to exchange text messages all day long,just to tell how much you miss each other...but suddenly, he/she DISAPPEAR! Yes, that's true, believe me without any reason...PUFF!!
O.K., there's no reason for panic, don't give up dating online because of that. That's happen all the time. Why? After some researches I found that the best explanation is: one of them is chatting with more people at same time until he/she decide to keep one and discard the others! But...interesting is that very often, after a while they'll try to contact you again. Yes, believe me. Some, with so many excuses...others like anything was happened...that's unbelievable but it is true.
So...don't get stressed, be prepared for such kind of situations and have FUN DATING ONLINE until God leads you to the right one, the one He already has separated for you.

SAFETY

• Take Your Time: There is no need to rush into a relationship with the first profile you view on the site. Having a secure, stable relationship should be important to you and the person with whom you are corresponding. Never give out your email address, phone number, IM information, full name, work information or any other contact information to a complete stranger. If the other person is really serious about starting a healthy relationship with you, s/he will respect your desire for safety and your commitment to developing a healthy relationship.
• Correspond on the site to Start: Keep your correspondence on the site (use your mailbox or instant messaging) and get to know someone over an extended period (a few weeks) so that you can determine if someone is honest, if their behavior is consistent and whether this person is someone you'd like to get to know even better.
• Ask a lot of Questions: Some members present only their most positive aspects; some of their negative aspects might not be apparent the first few days they correspond with you. Other members provide very little information in their profile or their letters. Be wary of such contacts and ask a lot of questions to help you get a better perception of the person with whom you're corresponding.
• Use a Non Description Email Account: If you decide to communicate outside of the site, use an email account other than your main personal or work account. There are many free email services available such as Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, and Hotmail that you can use for this.
• Use Call Block: If you decide to communicate by phone, apply call block before calling. Ask your phone company if you are unsure how to do this.
• Meet in a Public Place: If you decide to meet in person, choose a public place and stay in a public place. If s/he is serious about the relationship, s/he will be glad to ensure you feel safe. Do not accept offers to have him/her pick you up or drop you off. Choose public transportation, your own vehicle, a taxi, or better yet, have a friend arrange the transportation for you. If things do not feel right, LEAVE. Better safe than sorry.

HOPE

Sometimes is just wonderful receiving a message like that at 1:30am from a Christian Dating Site:
You have probably heard this a million times before, but you are absolutely adorable in the sight of our Lord. He calls you the 'apple' of His eye, and the Lord says that you are 'fearfully and wonderfully' made. He knew you before you were even formed in your mom's womb, and He knows every hair on your head, and His thoughts towards you are innumerable. His Word says that He has plans to prosper, and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future. He fills you with His Holy Spirit, and you are a reflection of His Son, Jesus the Christ. You are the Light of Christ, and He fills you with His fruit of the Holy Spirit, a gift that is unending. His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. He is working out His perfect will for your life right now as you read this, so rejoice precious daughter of the Lord, because He also says that He will grant you the desires of your heart; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and HE will direct your path . . . to that person He has designed so perfectly just for YOU!

shalom sis

SCAMMERS

Love scam: Some scammers are a little tougher to find। They will express their deep love for you (even though they've never met you) and will soon discuss wanting to meet you in person. They will often say they've singled out your profile. More often than not the letter looks like it's generic (ie. a form letter designed for anyone). If it's a man, he'll be vague about his profession but will almost always mention that he travels extensively. It may take two to three letters, but he'll likely mention Nigeria (or just "West Africa"), South Africa or Malaysia. If it's a woman she'll likely mention Nigeria, Ghana (or just "West Africa"), Russia or Ukraine. The next step is to get you to send them money for some dire cause (mother is sick and needs an operation; can't pay a bill; stuck in a hotel with no money; need money desperately to save a business deal, etc.). Likewise, they may claim they wish to meet you and need you to purchase a plane ticket so they can visit you. This is very common request for Russian scammers. They will often mention that "age is just a number" or "distance is no barrier to love". This scam is often targeted to members 15-20 years their senior.
Money Order scam: The scammer asks for your help in cashing money orders, while you 'reimburse' them by sending cash via Western Union. The victim soon finds out the money orders are fake but has already sent the 'reimbursement' via Western Union.